17 July 2014

It's all about yellow

You may have heard me mention over the last month or so that little 1 will be starting school in September, yes that's right, my once tiny little baby is now all grown up enough to go to 'big school'.

I have bought the uniform, it has been labelled and sits neatly in her drawers, which we rearranged together last week to accommodate it all, waiting for the day to come when she gets to wear it.

Over the last few weeks Little 1 has attended a few story sessions put on by the school to meet her new teacher and class mates, she has walked into these sessions with a smile on her face and a spring in her step and come out running towards me happy with a big grin on her face, I thought we were going to be ok.

She has been attending the preschool attached to the school for the past year and used many of the school facilities, the hall, playground etc throughout the year and did her nativity singalong as part of the reception nativity so she is familiar with the school and really looking forward to attending, being a big girl and wearing her uniform.

She is going to be in Yellow class (hence the title of this post), she wakes every morning asking if today is the day when she will go to yellow class and I have to tell her 'No, not yet' (after the holidays just doesn't work with a 4 year old), there is a mini strop as she wants to go TODAY and then she gets up happy and smiling as always and gets on with her day.

But something isn't right she has been clingy recently, wanting more cuddles, to be picked up (she is too heavy for that now), she is easily upset and the word 'No' sets off the waterworks (throwing herself sobbing onto the sofa kind of tears because I won't let her have a biscuit before dinner!). I am sure it is a bit of anxiety towards school, it must be a scary place when you are 4. 

We have had extra cuddles and little chats, one on one time and read stories about going to school, she seems ok on the outside, she says she is looking forward to it and can't wait. I just think she is a bit nervous underneath, which is completely understandable.

Something she said though today though makes me think it is not actual school but friendships bothering her, you see there are 3 reception classes at her school. Her two closest friends and a few others she mainly played with at preschool are in another class together as well as several others who she went to nursery with before starting preschool, considering that half of each class is made up of those who attended preschool she doesn't have anyone in her class that she plays with very much they are all in the same other class.

She said to me today, 'Mummy why am I not in that class, I don't play with anyone in my class they are all in the other class', I didn't have an answer for her, I said I didn't know and felt terrible for her. I know it was recommended that her and her closest friend were separated but I agreed on that as they are a bit too close and I don't think being together would have given either of them the chance to grow and make new friends.

She is happy to be in yellow class and loves her teacher, she hasn't said she wants to be in the other class. I think she feels she has been separated from the others and it does look like that from her perspective but I'm sure it wasn't deliberate. I have done what I can do to prepare her for school, the uniform, the storybooks and the support etc but what I can not prepare her for are the inevitable friendship troubles, the breakups, the best friend one day-worst enemy the next heartache that she will have to deal with at school. 

It has brought up old feelings of my own time at school, I was bullied, I didn't have many friends, even now I only have a couple of good friends, and the friends I did make at school tended to make other friends easily and move on. I didn't like the social side of school and I am scared that this will happen to Little 1 too.

We have done what we can for her, she is happy, funny, popular and has more confidence than I ever did but she is anxious too. I am proud of the little girl I will be waving off at the school gates and don't doubt her ability to make friends and everyone will love her personality, I know that. 

I just can't help worrying if my little girl will be alright on that rollercoaster of emotions that 'big school' brings. I can't be there for her at school, all I can do is help her deal with whatever life throws at her, celebrate the good times and offer a shoulder and cuddle through the not so good. 

I do hope she will be happy.



  1. Seychellesmama18 July 2014 at 09:37

    Oh goodness this is such a huge deal, poor little love it just must be so confusing as to why she's not in the same class with her friends. No wonder she's been a bit out of sorts. I'm sure she will make lots of new friends in no time at all.
    The bit about the friendship issues has brought up lots of memories for me, lots of mixed feelings there....children can be so cruel to each other but then so heartwarmingly lovely too. Ah the ups and downs of friendships and growing up!!!!

  2. I am sure once the time comes she will love school. The best thing you can do to prepare her is not focus on it. In her world it is a long long time away yet and talking about it may make it an issue. I tend to tell my kids about things just before they happen so they cannot think about them too much! That way there is no worry and they get on with it! Is there any way you could set up some play dates in the meantime with kids from her new class? That might help her...knowing some of the kids in her class.

  3. It must be quite scary for children to start school. I dread the day my girls start. Thanks for linking up to the #binkylinky

  4. Steph - midlifemummydiary18 July 2014 at 18:03

    Oh bless her little cotton socks! And yours too!! I feel so bad for both of you. It must be such a scary thing for a four year old to go through - not made any easier that her friends are all in the other classes! And I feel for you too in the fact that you are doing all you can and comforting her as much as possible yet still feeling helpless. I dread the day my little ones start school for these very reasons. I am sure though that all will be fine, and once she's got over the first bit of nerves (you too!) that you will both be happy about the wonderful new friends she makes in her class. Keep smiling. xx

  5. Merlinda Little19 July 2014 at 10:46

    My son is the same age and will start same class this September. He will also attend a school that is beside his preschool. He will leave a lot of friends in the old preschool as they will be 4 after September. He has made so many friends but his best buds (as he calls them) are going to be left behind. He doesn't know this but it scares me when September will come. My son is one of the youngest starters there as well so I hope things will be better for him this September. #pocolo

  6. Baked Potato Mummy23 July 2014 at 21:28

    Its a big step, but it sounds to me that you've done all the right things to prepare her. She will have a wonderful time and because you have taken to time to prepare her, she'll know she can come to you if she has any worries about it all. But it's understandable that you are both a little nervous, even if you can't admit it to each other ;) Change is often scary, but exciting too xx

  7. Thank you for your lovely comment, thankfully it doesn’t seem to bother her too much on a daily basis as she is more excited than nervous just sometimes I think it gets to her.


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