11 April 2014

What happened to Common Courtesy?

Two things happened to me this week that got me thinking about how rude and impolite some people can be.

The first incident was at toddler group. The toddler group we go to is held in a church, the space where the children play is shaped like an upside down T, there is a bit to each side and a bigger bit in the middle. If you are sitting in the pews, which is where most of us mums congregate to drink our coffee and chat, you can see the whole area and can observe your child from afar wherever they may decide to wander. If you happen to sit elsewhere there are areas you just can't see.

Now my two were playing on the slide and soft play stuff at one side, they were playing nicely with a couple of other children taking it in turns on the slide as fast as is humanly possible and having a wail of a time. A little girl (who looked about the same age as Little 2) had been playing near them when another child gave her a shove and she started crying. Most of the parents in the area looked up checking it wasn't their child and then ignored the poor thing. She stood there balling her eyes out and everyone carried on talking, I scanned the room and spotted her mum (in the middle bit at the end) feeding her baby and deep in conversation with someone, she obviously couldn't hear her daughter nor see her (she obviously wasn't keeping an eye on her) so I thought I would help the poor soul out and take her to her mum. By the time I got there she had been crying for at least a minute and a half and was in full on screaming mode. I led her to her mum who didn't notice until she couldn't hear her friend talking over the screaming child stood right in front of her.
'What happened' she said
'She's fine, she just got pushed by another child' I replied
At that point she turned and immediately carried on talking to her friend, no Thanks, no smile, nothing. I was obviously dismissed and felt like a bit of a wally left standing there and retreated back to my pew.

The second incident was later that day when we were walking home along the pavement. I have a buggy and a four year old so take up a good two thirds of the path, a young man was coming towards us with a bag of shopping, in between us on the side of the path was a lamp post meaning one of us was going to have to giveway to the other. We reached the lamp post before he did but instead of waiting a whole 3 seconds for us to pass he sped up and squeezed through the gap bashing Little 1 with his bag while muttering something about mums and pushchairs thinking they owned the path. 
Now I must admit I am usually a wimp and would just mutter something to myself quietly or say 'he was a bit rude wasn't he' to Little 1 once he was out of earshot but this time I went into protective Mummy mode and had to open my mouth without thinking and say 'Don't say sorry to her then', I won't repeat the two words I got in reply!

These two incidents got me thinking about how there seem to be two types of people about at the moment, those who are polite and courteous and those who are just plain rude.

I was brought up to say Please and Thank You as a child, my parents were polite and courteous and the same was expected of me, I learnt through example and accepted it as the norm as I grew up. I am one of those people whom I would deem as fairly polite. I give way to others, apologise if I bump into someone and even say sorry when there really isn't any need to but it just seems polite to do so like if I reach for something at the same time as someone else in the supermarket.

Daddy and I have taught our children to say Please and Thank You, and hope they are learning from us as we did from our parents, how to interact and be polite to others. Little 2 spends all her time with me at home so I am her main role model, she nearly always says 'Thank You' and 'Bless you' and often 'sorry' for bumping in to me or vice versa so I think we are doing a good job, although like any other 2 year old she does not like to apologise to her big sister without much prompting!

It doesn't take much to be polite to someone, a couple of words of thanks, a smile, wave or a nod but there seems to be a remarkable number of people around at the moment who just can't be bothered. Now don't get me wrong there are a lot of polite people around too just a lot less than there used to be, I think.

Is it something to do with this new culture of keeping to one's self and not talking to others/strangers. We don't tend to pass the time of day with people like we once did, (that makes me sound old, doesn't it!!) could that be it? Are we scared to say anything to anyone else in case we offend them? 

So what do you think? Is it just me or do there seem to be 2 types of people these days? 


  1. Hmmm....That is very annoying! At the group we go to almost everyone knows who belongs to who and there is a real sense of everyone looking out for each other so I think I'd be pretty hacked off if that happened to me. As for the other one- he just sounds like a bit of an idiot.
    There are way more than 2 types of people though- sometimes I am the absolute essence of heavenly loveliness but, get me in a car when I'm late or lost and it's sometimes a different story!
    Hope these were just one off's. Happy Easter.

  2. Loving Life With Little Ones16 April 2014 at 09:51

    I was only trying to help the pour soul out as her mum looked busy and couldn’t see her, I didn’t expect a big thank you just a smile would have been polite! I went to toddler group hoping to make friends but I haven’t had much luck yet! Thank you for commenting x

  3. Let's Talk Mommy16 April 2014 at 09:56

    I agree. I do this at soft play areas all the time. Hear a screaming child or see them get hurt and look around to find it's mother for them because everyone else just carries on. half the time I get the look from the mother to mind my own business. It's awful. Watch your children then I think. Man I would have said a whole lot more to that in protective mommy mode. How rude! People live negative lives when they are like that just let karma get them eventually because she will. Thank you so much for linking up to Share With Me. Sorry you had rude people encounters this week. It's easter for goodness sakes. hahaha #sharewithme

  4. Loving Life With Little Ones16 April 2014 at 11:26

    Glad I am not the only one who feels like this then!! I think the same thing- treat others as you would like to be treated yourself. Thank You for your comment x

  5. Merlinda Little16 April 2014 at 15:05

    Once in the supermarket there is a lady in those mobile thingy. I am in a place where I cant go anywhere. So I cant giver way to her. I went ahead so that everyone can move on. Shes so pissed at me for not giving way saying shes on that mobile. This is so hurtful for me. I would of course give way not only because its common courtesy but also because I want to. But there are some intances that I just cant. This is not the same situation as you but .. its just went back while I am reading your post. I am not in a mobile but I also deserve courtesy. Thanks for sharing your story. #sharewithme

  6. Loving Life With Little Ones16 April 2014 at 20:43

    Thanks for your story too. Sometimes you can’t be as polite as you might like to be, but it is when people are just plain rude that bugs me, especially if it is aimed at a child. Thanks for reading x

  7. I completely agree, I hate bad manners of any kind and try to ensure I am a good example to my little boy. Some people are so rude, and I can't stand it. How much does it take to say please or thank you or hold a door for someone.
    That young man sounds incredibly rude, good on you for saying something to him! x

  8. Those stories are both awful!!! I hate people like that, what's wrong with people these days, there really is far too much stuff like this going on it's very sad!

  9. Wow, some people are just rude for no reason. Thanks for linking up #binkylinky

  10. Sara (@mumturnedmom)18 April 2014 at 19:43

    I cannot bear rudeness, it's so unnecessary. Sorry to hear you've been at the receiving end this week, leaves you feeling a bit meh doesn't it x #PoCoLo

  11. Loving Life With Little Ones18 April 2014 at 23:04

    Yes but I’ve had my rant now so all happy again x

  12. Loving Life With Little Ones18 April 2014 at 23:07

    I feel like there are more rude people around these days than their used to be but maybe it is just that I notice it more! Thanks for reading x

  13. Loving Life With Little Ones18 April 2014 at 23:12

    I don’t know what came over me, normally I would just let it go but I had to say something to him and then regretted it. Thank you for commenting x

  14. It is sad when people are so rude. I was pleasantly surprised by people in London and Paris last week offering me seats on the metro without fail. Is it sad how surprised I was by this simple courtesy?!x

  15. Loving Life With Little Ones20 April 2014 at 13:20

    It comes to something when you are surprised by politeness doesn’t it. Maybe it is just not ‘cool’ to be polite anymore.

  16. Victoria Welton20 April 2014 at 18:11

    I am SO with you on this. There are far too many people around now who are completely rude and obnoxious and don't care about anyone else. Thank you for linking to PoCoLo :) x

  17. Baked Potato Mummy20 April 2014 at 20:34

    Wow very sad! I feel very sorry for that poor little girl who was just ignored and how awful for Little 1 to have been bashed with no apology. I'm very fussy about manners with Potato and think common courtesy is so very important.
    Thanks for linking up with #BinkyLinky

  18. Loving Life With Little Ones20 April 2014 at 21:14

    I feel the same, my two have been taught manners are are pretty good at remembering them especially Little 2. x

  19. Loving Life With Little Ones20 April 2014 at 21:15

    Thank You for hosting and commenting x


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